I am the Lion

My weekend. It was an experience. A beautiful bliss. An awakening, to say the least.

I realized all my partying has been drowning who I am. I didn't think I liked who I was...no, that's a lie. I liked who I was, I was just bored. I wanted a change so I resorted to a change. Alcohol. My friends wanted a change so they, too, drank with me. We hit the party scene hard. It was around the last semester of my 10th grade year when it was rare to catch me on the weekends sober or even without xanax in my system. I ended up getting arrested with a public intox when I was 16. That didn't stop me. It just exhanced it. What else could happen, ya know? It wasn't until this past weekend of my Freshman year in College that I realized I lost who I was. It took a hallucinogen to get there but it happened. I'm tired of drowning who I am, ya know? I just need a break from it all. From everyone. I need to just get away from everything for a little bit. From the technology, from the same people, just from this party atmosphere to get my priorities stright.

While under the influence, if you will, I was staring at a planetarium. You know, the thing that puts starts and an arura on the ceiling to stare at. Anyway, while watching the transformation of the stars and the blue "water-wind" (it's what I called it because it looked exactly like that, water and wind), it had such soft edges. It danced across the ceiling. I just watched. It was beautiful. So beautiful. I couldn't capture it like on the camara or in a painting, it wouldn't be soft enough. It reminded me of human beings. How we are all soft and uncapturable. No picture can truly capture the beauty of a person.
And it's just like we are all entwined with each other. We weave in and out of each others lives, creating a chain reaction for the next person in line...